Cancer

Update! Today is my last day of radiation treatment. It's weird. In the wide spectrum of experiences it hasn't been that bad. But it was still a crazy time.

Decided to think about it more of a milestone accomplished. But not an ending, as there will still be medications and lots and lots of follow ups. But still as things go I was lucky and I won't forget that. There were many more celebrations than let downs. Hooray! My cancer is not gonna kill me! Hooray! Stage 1! Hooray! The surgery was successful and they got it all out! Hooray! Only 5 radiations treatments! Hooray! Done with another big step!

Each one meant a little special time, a dinner, a guilt free lay-about day. So much so that now I need to start focusing on diet and exercise. :) Yep, this chapter is almost closed. Time to move on! Thinking about healthy lifestyles and whatever else I want to take on professionally.

It's an exciting time to be me.

In February, I found out my old boss and good friend, Patty Murphy died of breast cancer. I had been about six years behind on my mammograms. I took it as a sign and went in. In April, they called me back for another one. Then, in early May, after an ultrasound/biopsy, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

A good diagnosis, if there is such a thing. (I think there is.) I had surgery on May 30. All cancer was removed (woohoo!), and there was no involvement in the lymph nodes (woohoo, again!). All the next steps are about prevention. Next week, I will start a short round of radiation and, after that, medication.

I wanted to share some thoughts as I navigate through my journey. I thought my experience might help if you know someone going through something similar.

Forget about your schedule. You're now in for a long waiting game. You can go with it or fight it, but we both know which is worse. Medical professionals do their best to keep you informed, but there always seems to be another test, another procedure you need that will tell you the whole story.

Many folks who have not had cancer want to share a cancer story to make you feel better. This rarely works. You can get mad, hurt, or feel life is unfair. Or you can listen, stay detached, and see if there's any wisdom in their words. They mean well, so let them try to help. The same happened when my husband died. I used to get so pissed! But then my father-in-law said, "Do you know how scary it is for people to reach out to you!? They are trying because they love you and want to help! And you are going to blame them for not getting it exactly right?" It was a hard pill to swallow at the time, but he was exactly right. Remembering this has saved me YEARS (yes, YEARS) of unnecessary stress. Highly recommended.

You will probably go through a super healthy phase. I kind of wish that lasted longer. :) I ate only healthy organic food, with no phosphates and no additives—nothing was saved in plastic. I walked a mile a day. Sadly, that didn't last; I'm back to my normal potato chip-eating ways and trying to find a healthy and doable balance.

No one can tell you exactly what to expect. Treatments are constantly improving and becoming less invasive. Cancer is different for everyone. I am in several groups, message boards, and similar, and no one has my exact combination of cancer indicators, stage, size, etc.

My treatment center isn't on any "best" lists or known for the best equipment; I chose it for convenience. I decided since my diagnosis is very treatable, the therapy doesn't need to be cutting-edge. Similarly, I am not particularly in love with any of my doctors or the staff; I don't feel that is important. Again, I have a very curable form of disease. If that were not the case, I would have probably found a treatment center with a better reputation.

Here's a big tip: every time you make an appointment, get the phone number and a contact person when you put it in your calendar. Hospitals are massive conglomerates now, and the most frustrating part is navigating the automated systems to reach the right person. Voice mail hell is real. If I NEEDED 911, I would have dialed 911, and NO, your options have NOT recently changed. (ahem, sorry)

You have to get educated and advocate for yourself. They will take the easiest route if you don't tell them your preferences and ask why. I pointed out decisions in my treatment/appointments that didn't make sense, and they were changed. I furthermore think that doctors want to discuss specifics. But they don't want to overwhelm. You can help them get the balance right.

One moment, I was just regular, then I became a person with cancer. Which is so mindblowing, but then again, I ask myself, what has really changed? I still work, clean, have fun, and see family and friends. I'm not sure what I expected, but a mix of bewilderment and peacefulness was not it.

Since I'd like to continue this living thing for a while, I'll just keep dealing. I do (mostly) what the doctors tell me and look forward to the day I can ring the "I'm done with radiation treatments" bell, and it will fade into the long book of stories that make up the life of Lora.

However, if anyone has a line to heaven, say hello to Patty and tell her thank you for saving my life.